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  • Problems of Privilege

    Mumma, the driver is not here, how do I come home?
    Ye kya hai? the internet is so slow. My Netflix is also not working.

    Have you found your child to be way too straightforward in plain Hindi too seedha for the world around him? Do you wonder how will she manage when she gets into the real world?
    Well, lately I meet a lot of parents who worry their children are not getting as much exposure to the rude and mean behaviour that constitutes to be the real world. They worry that our little urchins who live in their own fairy tale world have no clue what the harsh realities of the nation are.
    And it is true. Generation after generation is getting richer and with riches come privileges and with privilege and money come comforts that shield you from the illnesses of the world

    But then this is a good sign, isn’t it? I can understand as a single-family unit you would believe that what if my child is the only one who is the innocent one, he could be fooled but believe me I see hundreds of families and as India prospers, our children do become less shaitan.

    I am sure our parents were equally worried about us when we were getting more privileges than them. But those privileges were not available to only us. There were lakhs who were raised similarly and today we compete and collaborate with them.
    Similarly, things that seem outrageously superior today like gadgets and internet are the norm for the children and there are lakhs who have them.
    Taking those away will help the child be stronger? I am not sure. Because if that were so, the people in developed countries would be really dumb and by that count, they would not remain developed.
    However, there is always a thin line between using the privileges granted and being a spoiled brat.
    Also, trying to decide what your child’s childhood should be like is taking too much privilege as a parent, isn’t it?
    Also, when you as a parent don’t lift a finger to fetch a glass, do you really think the child is going to be austere in his/her lifestyle? Remember, the children learn a lot more from what they see rather than what they hear.
    So if you really want children to be stronger, maybe teaching them more adaptability would help rather than denial. And you could start being more adaptable. Try switching the AC off for one day and let your children know that you can walk the talk.

    I also meet a few parents who believe that sending the children to bigger more fierce schools or hostels, or where there is immense competition, they will learn the tricks of the trade. But is it so? Should a child’s dreams, friendships or innocence be shattered because she will have to meet a few mean people later in life? Moreover, such actions are taken into account believing that this will build resilience and eventually success for the child. But then look back at your classrooms and tell me, are all children equally successful because they all went to the same school?
    Wouldn’t it help if we stopped expecting our kids to deal with problems just as we did when we were young? Yes, we can and must let them take charge and fail in whatever ways possible but clearly shattering their emotional bonds and then expecting them to fare well only breeds a heartless, cunning individual. And will this hardened adult then be as respectful to you

    Masterni ka mat

    Stop solving all their problems. If they have not done the homework or lost their book, let them face the music for it. And if your kid is older than 12, definitely let them take public transportation/rickshaw once in a while.

    Free play every day with a group of peers. This is not even a privilege, it is a necessity. Simply letting them navigate the rules of play without adult interference will teach them so much more about life that you will not need to worry.

    Have them start a venture of their own. However small it may be. Let them face some challenges of running their own business and it will teach them all the duniyadaari that any amount of your lecturing will not!

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